Narcissus
by ThisAccountIsNowInactive354085
Summary: It was all she had, and up until now, it had been her rock, her poker face, and even her crown- she had believed every word of it, and rightfully so. Lily/Narcissa, please read and review and enjoy as always!


**Disclaimer: Nothing's mine but the plot!**

**Summary: It was all she had, and up until now, it had been her crown, her birthright- it had been enough.**

**Narcissus**

Beautiful. Lovely. _Perfect_.

It was all she had, and up until now, it had been her rock, her poker face, and even her crown- she had believed every word of it, and rightfully so.

But even as she thought about it, her eyes strayed down to the fiery Gryffindor at her right, and Narcissa wondered when it had all changed, after all.

When had it become anything less than enough?

_But you know the answer, don't you?_

**PGBR**

"_Move, _Evans."

"Why don't you try and _make _me, Black," was the snide response.

An earsplitting rip was heard, and suddenly Lily's belongings littered the floor, her books soaked in ink from the shattered bottle. Lily's eyes widened, and she stared up at Narcissa in a mixture of shock and revulsion. "Oops," the blonde said airily as her lackeys tittered behind her. "Guess you can't _now_. How very _clumsy _of you." Narciss a threw her silvery blonde hair back over her shoulders, smirking in that subtly obvious was that only a Black could.

_And not Sirius or Andromeda or even Regulus- they'll grow to be nothing, and they're not worth the name. Only you understand- only you and Bella and mother understand what it's like to sacrifice everything you ever had for everything you never wanted._

"Oi, Evans!" James Potter called as he and Sirius Black sauntered over to her. "Nasty run-in with the queen, eh?"

As Lily glared up at him, Sirius snorted. "Of the bloody _banshees_, maybe."

From behind one of the large marble columns, Narcissa grimaced at her cousin's poor taste in insults. She didn't know why she had stayed behind- she assumed it was for nothing more than to watch the Evans girl flounder about for her things. But now, she rather wished she hadn't as the Potter prat knelt down to help her.

Narcissa smirked as Lily shoved James away, telling him to bugger off, most likely. _The Golden Couple- _more like Beauty and the Pompous, Self-Righteous Beast. She could see from a mile away that Lily was too good for him, even if the rest of the world couldn't.

And then Lily was storming down the hallway, and Narcissa didn't bother checking for a quick escape because there wasn't one- this was so very unlike her indeed. So Narcissa stepped out into Lily's path- it was better to appear confident and arrogant than weak and compromised. "How's Hogwarts' favorite angst-ridden couple these days?" she cooed.

"I don't know, Black, I was under the impression that you and Lucius were doing just as smashingly as ever. Kicking puppies together, matching dark marks- you old romantics," Lily snarled in reply, though her retort was half-hearted and obviously unfocused.

_How disappointing_, Narcissa thought vaguely. Then, before she could stop herself, "You deserve better than him, you know."

Lily's eyebrows might have reached the sky. "And you've observed this?"

Scoffing, Narcissa tucked a stray fiery strand behind Lily's ear, causing the other girl to impulsively flinch away. "I'd have to be blind to not, Evans," she replied in her silky, trained voice.

"That makes one of you," Lily muttered, and for a moment, Narcissa swore she saw a hint of regret and spite in those jade eyes. It wasn't as though the Evans girl had ever been much for hiding her emotions- but then, _she _had probably never had to.

**PGBR**

"I really _must_ get to class."

Now Narcissa regarded Lily with those cool, ice-silver eyes and lifted her chin with her wand. Lily's jaw was set, her freckled face full of defiance and determination and insecurity and it was absolutely beautiful. "Well that's a problem, isn't it?" Narcissa removed her wand just as quickly as she had applied it, stuffing it back into the pocket of her robes in a rush. It was so unlike her to hurry things- unlike her to be anything but smooth and focused. "You see, I'm not quite ready for you to go."

"And the world stood still," Lily entoned sarcastically as she stood, attempting to straighten her robes without much success. "It's my life, Narcissa, and sorry to say, but it doesn't revolve around you."

"It's my _world_, darling," Narcissa replied coolly as she reached out a single pale, ringed hand and pulled Lily back to the bed.

Then she recoiled, her pale, flawless cheek red and burning, but she had expected the slap. What she hadn't expected was the hurt, almost aching look in Lily's eyes- Lily's beautiful, emerald eyes that refused to meet her own. "How can you touch _me_ when it's _his_ ring on your finger?"

Narcissa took Lily's chin in her hands and leaned forward from her position with her knees drawn to her chest. _But you've always been flexible_. "And still, you run to me," she murmured before pressing her lips to the fiery Gryffindor's in a brief, bittersweet kiss.

_And when did you become so gentle? You can't remember, can you, because it's only with Lily, isn't it? Does she even know how quickly you could break her- how easily you could destroy her entire world? And you will, won't you? You'll do it and you won't ever look back._

But it wasn't true- as she looked down at the stubborn Gryffindor who now sat beside her on the bed, Narcissa knew that those words weren't true. Yes, she would hurt her- yes, she would break her heart into pieces, but she could never look away.

Lily was different than the rest- she was bold and brazen and somehow more beautiful than Narcissa could ever be. She had never given her what she wanted without a fight and had run so far that most would have turned away. Most would have given up, but Narcissa had chased after her. _You've always loved a challenge. How does it feel then? _

_How does it feel to lose?_

And then Narcissa pushed Lily down onto her back- her hair was so lovely, splayed out across the emerald duvet (m_uch lovelier against green than gold_)- and she pressed her pearly lips to her freckled neck and grinned as she felt the muscles mold to her touch_. _

And why shouldn't they? Narcissa was lovely- by far the most beautiful girl and Hogwarts and her mother's pride and joy. It was _Lily _who fell for her, _Lily _who basked in the ice queen's touch- _Lily' s _heart that was breaking.

But even as she forced the thoughts into her brain, Narcissa couldn't ignore the stabbing in her chest as Lily crawled into her arms with her tail between her legs, cuddling up to the Slytherin for one last night. Narcissa couldn't even bring herself to believe that she was taking pity on Lily for not forcing her to return to her dormitory.

**PGBR**

When Narcissa Malfoy read about Lily Potter's death in the Daily Prophet, not a single tear escaped from her silver eyes. Narcissa Malfoy didn't know Lily Potter, after all, and she had overshadowed Narcissa _Black _so long ago that she didn't even register her pain. Not even a little.

Not until she saw the picture.

And then it all came rushing back to her- the passionate nights where she would hold Lily in her arms and the painful days where the Potter boy would hold her in his. And the dry sobs overwhelmed her, racking her slender figure as she curled up in the large bed that she shared with the man she could never love while the only girl she could smiled brilliantly up at her, eternally in his arms.

And she should be happy, really. She had been raised as the most beautiful girl in the world- a diamond in a mine of coal.

And now she was again.


End file.
